Men are from Mars and women are from Venus. When it comes to relationships and dating, that old saying rings true. What men and women look for in a date and how they feel about the person they are dating can be completely contradictory. So you cannot expect to “just click” with someone you have just met. But certain behavior patterns can help you decide whether or not you will get along with the person sitting across from you on your first date.
We will tell you about the little things you can do on the date that can help you connect and create intimacy without seeming desperate or vulnerable. Read on.
Tips To Choose the Perfect Partner on Your First Date
1. Ask the Right Questions
Rule number one: Don’t ask stupid questions like “Why are you still single?” unless you want to come across as a jerk. It suggests that you feel there’s something seriously wrong with being single. So if you are on a date with someone and they seem great and single to you, do NOT ask them to explain their status to you. To create the right mood, ask interesting questions that help you get to know the person better, rather than tormenting them with banal questions that sound like an interrogation.
“What is your dream vacation?” and “Who in your family do you get along best with?” are good questions to ask once you have passed the “What do you do?” and “What are you looking for in a relationship?” stage.
2. Let Them Know You Are Enjoying Yourself
A sincere “I enjoy this conversation” will convince them that you are not bored. If they tell you an anecdote from their lives, ask them simple questions that show that you were actually listening. Answer them with expressions of surprise and amusement so that they feel more comfortable sharing personal details about their lives. You must also be open to them about yourself. By telling a little story about your life or exchanging some personal information, you send the message that you trust the other person.
Even if you are not enjoying it much, do not make it obvious. It is honest when you say what you think about the date, but it is rude to say straightforwardly that you are bored. You can do this in other subtle and non-hurtful ways. Faking an emergency or pretending to be in a situation where you have to leave the date will not hurt anyone. Get inspired by Barney Stinson’s “call from the hospital” trick from How I Met Your Mother!
3. Don’t Be Afraid to Have Some Fun
If you get a funny idea in the middle of the date, ask them what they think. If you have a conversation about food and your date tells you that she loves chocolate fondant, tell them about the amazing store you know that sells delicious chocolate fondant ice cream. Take them there after dinner. Be spontaneous, like you would be with a friend, and don’t hesitate to try new things.
If you have had enough conversations with them before you decide to meet them in person, then you must have an idea of their hobbies. If there is something that interests both of you, you can ditch the generic date ideas (dinner and drinks) to try something else. You might want to book tickets for a movie that you both want to see. Or something else that gives you the opportunity to get to know each other better.
4. Ask for Permission Before You Kiss Them
If your date is going well, a kiss may be on the cards. The best kiss is the result of an emotional connection between the two of you. So take it easy. There is no hard and fast rule to kiss on your first date. You are meeting this person for the first time, so don’t make them feel like you are thinking only about the physical aspect. Don’t startle them by saying something unexpected if you sense the possibility of a relationship with your date. But if you trust your instincts and decide to kiss your date, ask first and be polite when kissing. Nobody wants a tongue in their mouth without some prior warning on the first meeting.
5. Tell Them When You Disagree with Them
It’s okay to say no to dating ideas you really hate. Your dates wouldn’t like it either if they found out way too late that you didn’t like the restaurant you went to. It can be embarrassing for them to learn that you hated the date they planned for you. The same applies to conversations and opinions. If you talk about a topic and you feel completely differently, tell them politely that you disagree with them. You don’t want to agree with everything they say, and seem desperate or as someone who has no opinion of your own.
In summary, you should know that first dates will not be perfect every time. While it won’t be as bad as spilling food on yourself (or on your date!), there may be times when the conversation becomes unpleasant or degenerates into a heated argument. You can prepare for this by avoiding the idea that “something useful must come of it”. A date is about two people coming together, interacting, connecting, and experiencing. So take it easy and go with the flow. And more than anything else, have fun!
Author Bio: Sandy Funches is a freelance writer who enjoys writing. Writing is of utmost importance to her as doing so helps her educate people by spreading her knowledge of women’s health, sex, relationship and lifestyle.