We fall in love because of reasons we don’t even know, since love is an un-explainable thing. The feeling just comes naturally when you least expect it, and sometimes with the most unexpected person, making you feel like you own the entire world. However, Cupid may be toying with his arrows, and what was once a great relationship suddenly turned into something chaotic that both of you wished had never happened in the first place.
Break-ups are definitely hard and can be caused by a number of reasons depending on the situation that you and your partner is currently in. Some break up because they fell out of love, as simple as that. But some couples break up even though they still love each other, because circumstances and fate just get in the way.
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You may be left heartbroken, and even after the countless sleepless nights of crying, you still want them back in your life. Yes, you realize that no matter the challenges that may come your way, it is best to face those challenges with your special someone rather than just by yourself. You may have that very strong urge to get back with your ex and rekindle your flame. You make moves to win him/her back but more often than not, these moves will make your ex stay away from you for good.
Winning back your ex is definitely not an easy job and you cannot do it in a snap. This requires a process. You may be thinking, “Why can’t I get him back now? We had a past. Surely, I don’t need a whole process that is painstakingly slow?” Unfortunately, some things take time.
How To Win Your Ex Back
Believe me, you should take this process one step at a time. Maybe you both have shared a relationship in the past, but this reason is not enough to speed up the process of getting back together. Always remember that you broke up because of a logical reason and both of you are still emotionally unstable because of the break-up.
I have prepared four very important steps for you here, so that you can win back your ex and with a little luck keep this person in your life forever. It is important that you follow these steps accordingly and do not jump from one step to the next, because as I have already said, this is a process.
Step 1: Provide Space
When the two of you separated, you both felt lost, because you had been together for quite a while. Doing things without the other half felt uncomfortable because you used to do them together. Since you have separated, there is a strong tendency to miss the other half. Instinctively you will get in touch with him/her to see what he/she is doing. You thought it would fix everything and you make the other person feel that you are still looking after him/her. This might be a good step for you, but your ex might take it the wrong way. He/she might think that you are too clingy, and instead of wanting to be together again, you might scare your ex and push him/her further away.
Providing space will help both of you realise how important you are to each other. When we are in a relationship, we tend to forget who we really are as a person, and lose ourselves in the process. With this space you and your ex can reconnect with yourselves and recognise your faults. This space will also help you to see whether you are right for each other or not, because I really believe that love does not diminish despite distance, as long as it is true. You may hear that some relationships are destroyed because of distance, but these relationships are easily destroyed because love is not enough to keep them binding.
More often than not, space in a relationship will make you more aware of the things you need to improve and become a better person for you and your partner.
Step 2: Discover Yourself
If you have provided the space and have no contact with your partner, you will develop self-confidence. You discover your old self, which you may have forgotten or neglected, and you realise how much you have changed in the course of your relationship. Once you have become aware of everything, you can distinguish the negative attitudes you have developed from the positive ones. These negative attitudes could be one of the reasons why you and your ex separated in the first place. You need to work on these attitudes before you get back together so that they do not become an obstacle.
It will also be best for you to discover new hobbies and direct your heartache towards more satisfying and fulfilling activities. You can try learning to paint or rock climbing… the possibilities are endless, depending on your creativity and preferences. In this case, once you have won and are back together with your ex, you will have a new thing to bond over.
Step 3: Take It Slow
After the right amount of space and self-discovery you can now reconnect with your ex, but remember to take it slowly. Don’t be so affectionate or head-over-heels straight away. It’s not that you don’t love them anymore but you have simply been waiting for the right time to get them back. But since you have already rediscovered yourself and recognised your self-esteem, you should live up to it. You have become a whole new person, and your ex should be able recognise that and see if you’re worth falling in love with again.
When you have reconnected, don’t jump on the table and say that you want him/her back. Make that person realise that you have become a better person after the break up and let him/her now realise that you are still worthy to be a part of his/her life. If you start to take it slowly, it will definitely lead to something better. It will feel like you are starting over and forgetting the pain of the past. Your ex will finally know what he/she has been missing all this time.
Step 4: Talk Over Your Relationship
When you feel that there is a return of feelings on both sides, it is the right time to talk about your relationship again. Be completely honest. Apologise for the past. Talk about it. Open communication is a good basis for restoring your relationship.
If there were some things that you could not really tell your partner before, now is the best time to tell him or her. A clean slate without repression and secrets is the best basis to start rebuilding your relationship. Once you have set aside your differences and whatever they are from your past, let go and forget them. Both of you should leave this past behind and start anew to build a better and happier future together.
How do you get an ex back? Well, that might be difficult. But it’s all worth it if you really love the person. Your relationship may have failed once, but if both of you are willing to work for a second chance, it will come naturally. Many people no longer believe in eternity because of failed relationships and a whole range of partners. But I tell you this: there is eternity. It is very rare, but very valuable, and you have to work hard on your relationship to achieve forever with your partner. After all, eternity is a choice. Once you are determined to be with your one true love forever, you must resolve all differences and face all challenges together, no matter how hard it may be… and only then can you have eternity.